What are some funny and smart quotes?

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

'Modern Family' Star Aubrey Anderson-Emmons Just Came Out, And Everyone's Making The Same Joke - HuffPost

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

Why did Democrats echo that Joe Biden was greater than FDR and should be put on Mt Rushmore? Why did Democrats vote for Biden blindly in the primaries and deny he was mentally impaired? Was it the lying media, or are Democrats ignorant and gullible?

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

My girlfriend lied and said she never gave oral until me. She was very skilled. I’m upset with her lying. Do I dump her?

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”